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  5. What'd He Call Him?


What’d He Call Him?


by Dizzy Ovadhere


"I'm not God?" I question.

He shakes his head in disbelief.

"You're just a baby," Tao replies.

"Baby?" I answer in disapproval.

"You're wings haven't even sprouted yet," He explains.

"I'm a bird?" I ask.

"You a bird ass nigaa, dats foe show," interrupts a demon from behind the bar named Alan. He turns his back and grabs me a Heineken to soften the insult. "Heere, izz on me," he adds.

"What?" Tao yells.

"Come on God!" I argue, "he said it's on him."

"I heard what he said," Tao replies.

"So what's the big..." 'deal' would have ended that question if I wasn't interrupted.

"He ain't gonna pay fah shit," Tao answers, knowing my question without letting me finish, "den I'm out fie bucks!"

"Fine, here God," I state, acquiescing to his monetary demand as I reach into my front pants pocket to pull out my over-stuffed wallet; more useless junk and half-shredded receipts than actual money or any financial instruments.

My credit was still suffering the vicious poisoning I inflicted with my careless spending almost a decade ago. The banks left their mark on me, and the collectors have kept my three reports in the red with continual monthly updates of my negligence.

"Look ah much izz wallet full. Looking like a pocket puss or somting," the demon Carlos adds to the mix.

Tao stands silent with hand outstretched waiting for me to pay for the beer I don't even want at this point.

"Gah moe gas den paypah," Alan joins in the mockery.

Wait a sec! Five? I'm a brother, it's only three," I argue as I hand Tao a five dollar bill.

"Ain't got no change," Tao answers, pocketing my bread with self-entitlement.

"Then add it to my tab, yo," I demand.

"Ah ite," Tao answers.

"Tryna play me!" Adina playful calls out to me as she walks into the room.

It's because of her that I'm even allowed into The Hotspot in the first place. She walks over to Tao, hugging him from behind as she passes me a friendly wink; a reminder to me that among these demons, she still considers a newborn angel closer to her in friendship and trust.

"He dinks he God," Tao informs Adina, stepping forward, forcing her to release her clasp as he turns his head slightly to acknowledge his feelings for her.

"Oh boy, Kayne, not this again," she warns me, knowing when I drink too much, I start to lose my grasp on reality and begin imagining the most fantastic ideas are the most certain plausible events around me. At that point, one more drink, and I'd need to be strapped down for a few hours and force fed water and milk until I sober up.

"But I..." I begin, but her silence stops me as she doesn't even need to lift her eyebrow to suggest I relax and cease whatever rollercoaster ride I may be ensuing at that moment. Today's conversation with Tao was more of a bungee jumping event than a rollercoaster ride.

"You want a sip?" I ask Tao.

"I done drink dat crap," He answers.

"Lemme geh somme," Alan orders as usual.

"You could geh somme if yah wuzz a porn stah," Zendo chimes in, entering a few minutes after Adina in his typical fast-paced gait. Zendo grabs the scale off the bar and leaves the room as quickly as he came in before Alan has a chance to answer Zendo's sarcasm with his own clever witticism, which Alan is never quite able to construct in the few moments available to defend himself after being mocked. Zendo smiles at Alan and taps a friendly hello onto Carlos's shoulder as he exits into the back room.

"He got you good!" I toss my burn at Alan, riding the wake of Zendo's verbal victory.

"Shuddup fooh," Alan replied, "yo gimmen me a sip oh nah?"

"Hell no," I answer, taking another swig of my bottled brew with my self-righteous superiority.

"Kayne, lemme get a bogie," Adina asks me. I reach into my pocket without responding, leafing through the contents to grab the cigarette pack buried under a small pile of personal effects.

"Me too," Tao asks.

"Yeah, me too," Alan and Carlos both request in unison.

"He ain't a cigarette factory," Adina defends me.

"It's alright," I respond as I hand out half of my remaining smokes to the anxious crowd.

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