Skip to main content

Rhinoceros 1

“Adonis!!” I hear a woman call from the hallway outside. “Adonis, are you home?” The phone operator repeats different names, again and again, hoping to hear a response from me if she should find the match.
"Adolf? no can't be. Adelle? I can't tell, she was whispering, or he," she answers someone else in the background, "Adam? Adler? Abel?"
"Adonis," I whisper as loud as I could into the phone, far too weak for my neighbor outside in the hallway to hear me.
The emergency operator responds, "I think he said Adonis, can you run a search on that name for me?" she asks her colleague, who affirms.
“Caldwell” I whisper as my eyes darken their gaze slowly as I drift away into a dream.
"Callwell, he said he Calllwell," I hear her muffled words from the phone, now far awy from my hand, laying on the floor under the coffee table. How I wish I purchased that fancy oak table. Would have looked so sweet from this angle, as I lay here with my face drenched in a pool of my own blood and saliva. She continues on the phone, begging me for a response, but I can't; honestly, I just don't want to. Who has the energy to drag their body a few more feet for something that might never happen. It's just not worth the frustration.
Plus, with all the ostriches running around, it's hard to get my sights aimed at the head of the rhinoceros heading directly towards me at full speed. He must think that stupid looking horn is going to scare me.
"Excuse me? I'm a lady, jerk!" the rhinoceros corrects me.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know."
"Well now you do know," she asserts.
"It's a good thing I didn't shoot this rifle at you," I jokingly attempt to diffuse her anger.
"Good thing for you," she responds.
"I'm sorry, I'm just so tired lately, haven't had much energy it seems," I confess to her, disarming her threatening tone.
"Well you should eat better, have you had rhinoceros?"
"I can't say that I have, no, but I can't imagine it would taste very good, probably not as good as chicken," I venture a guess, confused by her response.
"Well here," she offers as she pulls a layer of muscle off of her thigh. Her pink skirt drops casually as her revealing gesture catches my stare. She smiles quite approvingly.
"Rhino's can taste good twice if you play your cards right," she flirts.

Popular posts from this blog

Stone Flight

"Lady, I got two months to live," I explain. My legs trembling beneath me like some stoner just caught his buzz and can't stand on his own two feet. "That may be, but I can't let you on there with this," she argues. Her voice firm, and her eyes confirm she is unconvinced. She whispers into the mouthpiece of her walkie-talkie something garbled that I can't make out; my hearing obscured by the drugs taking their toll on my body. I lost my sense of smell earlier this year. Suddenly food lost its flavor; the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong until an assistant asked if maybe I just lost my sense of smell, then suddenly it became clear that it wasn't anything serious. "Get me your supervisor," I demand. She squares off her footing and places her fists on either hip, standing firmly as if waiting for backup. Sure enough, not a moment later two other men show up, armed and just as serious. "Sir, he'll tell you the same th...

Witch Apprentice

Witch Apprentice "I expect you to take care of that," my lord orders of me. His large hands busy lighting his last bogie. He walks across the front of the bar, scanning the floorboards in front of his feet with a clarity and mental emptiness I hunger for. "If she cannot be turned my master, she will fall victim to my blade like the others before her," I answer obediently. He nods once then turns his gaze back towards the floor as if unsure of the path before me. I turn away, my back to my master, and sit on the couch closest to the far end of the bar. His doubts of my abilities leaves me with doubts of my own. But I was sure of my purpose when I joined the ranks. My allegiance to the dark market bar has been beyond reproach in my eyes since I was recruited, but not in the eyes of the other soldiers who have served longer and remain in lower rank in the eyes of the goblin king. He values my opinion and often seeks it out, but not this time. This time, he has made ...

Republic!

New witness reveals the secret republic soldier hiding dormant as part of the rebel scum, hellbent on destroying the empire from within by letting their jewfro grow freely like a wild hanakkuh bush blazing out of control with gifts to keep the young semites at bay while their parents escort them through two decades of educational torment where the real lessons are learned on the battlefield ironically referred to as the playground, a war torn cement oven range where fresh eggs are cracked and stir fried into a medley of indiscernible drones ready to collect the nectar for the queen without ever questioning the royal jelly poisoning them into submission. Hail! The republican! The roman soldier decked in iron and brass to spare hunts the rebels day and night, refusing to submit truth and reason as viable sources of honor in battle. The rebels survive by never staying dormant for too long, always fleeing the scene when the thermite canisters dispense unprejudicial justice simply to to...